{"product_id":"touch-grass-no-shirt-funny-chronically-online-tee","title":"Touch Grass No Shirt | Funny Chronically Online Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTouch grass? NO.\u003c\/strong\u003e The internet asked nicely. The answer is still no. Three words and a period doing more work than most paragraphs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eClean white type over a giant red NO. with a tiny grass tuft for plausible deniability — on a black tee built for indoor lighting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhy this isn't a mall tee\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Bella + Canvas 3001 — 100% ring-spun cotton, pre-shrunk, side-seamed, soft hand-feel. The print is bonded into the fabric, not sitting on top of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFit\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnisex retail fit, true to size. Model is 6'1\" and wears a Medium.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003ePerfect for\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe chronically online, group-chat philosophers, gamers, streamers, and anyone whose screen time report is a personal attack.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCare\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003chr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Secure checkout\u003c\/strong\u003e  ·  \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-day returns\u003c\/strong\u003e  ·  \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Printed in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e  ·  \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free shipping on every order\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTrends move fast. This one's printed and ready — grab it before the moment cools off.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Trending Chronically","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49102301823227,"sku":"6209206_4016","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49102301855995,"sku":"6209206_4017","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49102301888763,"sku":"6209206_4018","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49102301921531,"sku":"6209206_4019","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49102301954299,"sku":"6209206_4020","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0805\/7221\/9643\/files\/hf_20260724_175101_6c3d7b05-2b8a-48d6-be7b-2c51a211643a.png?v=1784915812","url":"https:\/\/trendingchronically.com\/products\/touch-grass-no-shirt-funny-chronically-online-tee","provider":"Trending Chronically","version":"1.0","type":"link"}